Chapter 161

12.38pm. It’s raining heavily outside now… Nice!

I have like tonnes of mugging waiting for me to do and here I am blogging…
Hahaha…. I’ve got alot of reflections today, that’s why huh…

Frisbee training today was from 2pm to7pm but ended officially at 8pm…
I’m like back to my tanned self now…
And in like a few weeks time, back to my BLACK self…
Sunplay SUNBLOCK is my best friend now!

I started playing the game only about a month ago…
The number of trainings I went can be counted with my ten fingers…
And there’s in fact alot of mixed feelings I’m currently faced with, that I can relate back to how I felt when I just started Netball… Haha!

In about 2 weeks, there will be a competition coming up…
SUniG – Singapore University Games.
Selection for the team will be confirm next week…

I hope I can make it to the team…
The chance is there, and IF I really did make it…
I hope I’m able to perform to expectations in the amount of play time given to me.
Even if it’s just for a point or two, I’ll be glad to be able to get my feet on the field and experience the competitive level of Ultimate.

Everything feels so familiar…
Like I’ve gone through it before, and fact is I really did…

But whats so different this time is that the end is clearer…
When I started Netball, I have got no idea where it will bring me to…
The kind of skill level I could reach, the kind of competitive standard I am capable of playing in….
And now with this new game introduced, I’m totally aware of the vast room for improvement I can make…
With commitment and hardwork, I can do it for Ultimate cause I’ve done it before…
I believe…

So I shan’t be brought down by feeling demoralised cause I haven’t been able to get alot of things right…
I should totally eradicate the kind of fear inside, the fear of playing, the fear of making mistakes…
I’ve got to face it… It’s part of the process…

Only after conquering the kind of fear and coming to terms with all the mistakes…
That’s  when I’ll be able to see myself going up to a higher level…

Just whack! Just faced it with POSITIVITY! And things will be under control=]

‘Sports’ is such a wonderful life teacher…
Don’t you agree with me??
A dedicated term that will never fail on anyone except those that never wished to step into it…
The extension of it’s knowledge isn’t limited to just the court or the field…
It applies to EVERYTHING. It applies to LIFE…

Never be afraid to try something new. Never let the fear of making mistakes grab you of your chance to discover a whole new opportunity. Never shy away from the stage for if you do, you will never find out if the stage belongs to you.

JUST FREAKING GO DO IT!!!!

Chapter 160

22nd August. 1.08am.

I’m tired…
Totally drained from the tight schedule this whole week…
And it isn’t ending anytime soon…
Just started kicking in…
It’s just the beginning… Oh No No No….

Lessons. Meetings. Coaching. Trainings. Driving. Mugging. Mugging. And more Mugging.

I haven’t manage to sit in front of the tv for a total of more than 30mins the whole of this week…. Unreluctantly *claps*…

Though I don’t like the feeling of being cramped up with endless activities…
Or the feeling of I NEED TO SLEEP but I CAN’T….
I don’t entirely dread this feeling, surprisingly… Haha!

The workload for this semester is kicking in…
Time is running out. Iron ankles of lethargy is clinging on. SLEEP IS NOT ENOUGH!!!

I cope it well with 61 hours without sleep last sem…
And I can do it this sem too!!! YESSA I CAN!!!

Alot of things are getting interesting lately… Haha…
Curiosity is telling me to go ahead and EXPLORE…
Just whack only!!!

Chapter 159

*Ahem… hem*

Today. I want to talk about my table.
Close friends know the effort that I’ve put in, to transform my ordinary study desk into a nicely-done table-top.
No gothic paintings to style it up, or extravagant decos to pull it off.
Just a simple, self-’styled’ corner of my room that I adore the most.

And of course, that little corner of my room displays PRECIOUS items like my ’self-graded’ best drawing pieces… haha!
A postcard sized picture of Nicky Byrne, Westlife. (Aha… Old school I know.. Still my all-time favourite boyband… ) 
EIGHT photographs…
of which SEVEN are….. me, myself and I… -.-”’ HAHA!

All the above mentioned are NOT THE MAIN POINTs…
The main point of my blog juice today is the EIGHTH photograph.

So who exactly are in that pink wooden frame that tells a thousand stories??

 Yeah right! It’s my TWO bestest closest buddies!!!

And today. I’m going to shout it out to the world…
I’M SO REALLLLLIIIIEEE PROUD OF THE TWO OF THEM!

Best of friends isn’t the exact term to describe the three of us.
Sisters are way too erm…. NOT US… NOT US…
Girlfriends, we each have lots, it doesn’t hold that special feeling that bond us together.

One of them calls me LOVE or Annata, yet on her ‘07 V’day card to me, she asked me to find a Valentine soon.
Another one never fails to call me by my full name with lots of !!!!!, always telling me I’m her 心目中的神射手 to boost my morale (aha… am I still?? hahaha!) and sometimes, maybe all the time, secretly admire me (right????right??? woman!)…. HAHA!

Our status: It’s complicated.

But whatever it is.
This quote, we’ll always keep to.

“Never apart. Maybe in distance but never in HEART.”

SEVEN plus years ago.
We started off simple, naive, totally clueless about what’s awaiting ahead of us in the years to come.
We had nothing to our names.

Now. I dare say these two buddies of mine are not any ordinary girls mugging their heads off in Pulau NTU.
They have done themselves proud and achieved extraordinary dreams that not all of us can.
For that, I’m really proud of them.

I’m proud of them for the recognition and opportunities that they’ve gained for themselves.
I’m proud of them for their humbleness despite their success.
I’m proud of them for all their hardwork and sacrifices they put in to bring them to where they are.
And most importantly, I’m proud of them for they dare to live their dreams and they go ALL OUT for it!

They have got what it takes to be where they are now.
I’m totally certain of their capabilities and I feel the two of them totally deserves what they earned for themselves=)

One of them is currently representing our home country in the World Youth Championship at Cook’s Island right at this moment.
A national netballer, small in size, big in performance.
That’s none other than my bestie, LowYiLun.

The other one took part in the Miss Singapore International ‘09 recently and came in as one of the few chosen FINALIST of the many.
She has got the brains, the looks, the hot bod, the sporty factor topping up with the glam side of her (HAHA.. if she wants….).
And she’s my happytogetherdepresstogether partner, KohHuiShan.

It wasn’t an easy path for them to get to where they are.
No one knew and understood what exactly they went through.
The kind of sacrifices they have to make to stick on to their commitments.
The kind of support they wish to garner but for some reason, they couldn’t.

I may not totally understand and we may not talk about it at times cause heart-to-heart talks were never our cup of tea. Fun and gossips are always our top priorities. HAHA! But that doesn’t mean you are going through all that alone kay!! *Cause you are not alone….. And I am here with you….* haha…. you know what I mean larh hurh….

Keep going buds! You two were really GREAT… And I’m very happy and proud to have friends like you two… We have a common goal back in AINB but changes are constant and now we share different destinations.. Whichever finish line we may cross, just keep going. I ain’t slacking myself too. Haha… Many years down the road, I’m very certain, we’ll all meet at the finish line once again. Where we three started running together =]

Chapter 158

14th August.

The skies a little gloomy today yet there isn’t any rain. Hmmm. Exactly what I’ve been feeling lately. Some stuff happened or rather, the problems have always been there. I just chose to let it be since there’s nothing much I could do about it. I always thought I’ve grown used to it. Immune. But time and time again, I can’t help but feel unjust. Being physically here and committing your everything elsewhere is not being responsible. Silence from my side doesn’t mean I agree with what you’re doing. That night, you finally realised. But that is just a small part of my dismay you’ve seen. I thought about it all night. I couldn’t sleep. Friends came asking if I’m fine the next day. I know I’ve to get my priorities right, doing the right thing at the right time. Drifting off for unnecessary thoughts isn’t the right thing. I’m fine, I lied. The ice-cream that day did cheer me up alittle. Thankfully, this method of indulgence in a moment of icy cold happiness never fails me. Thinking too much will just make me lose track of what I’m supposed to be doing. Especially the time now when I’ve gotten my life all sorted out, totally stepping out from the lost world. It’s a transition period I ought to stay focus and get everything properly executed. These problems just came to obstruct time again. I want to talk and I want someone at the side. But there’s a greater need to protect. To guard the things that I still deemed important to me. Everytime I bid goodbye to you at the doorway, I still have that feeling of reluctance inside. The feeling still lingers even though the same thing kept repeating itself. Fact is, you have got no idea. You have no idea those days you left, I wasn’t in my dreams like how you thought i was. I was under that cold blanket, crying. I wasn’t strong enough to send you off each time, cause I’ve never like bidding goodbye to you. After you left, I would run up to the window and watch you go off, and those tears just kept rolling. I was wailing inside, quietly. I was only eight. Now that I’ve learnt to control my emotions better, I could forced those words out but it wasn’t easy. I dare not look at you still. The feeling of reluctance never left. And you have got no idea. At all. Hmmmm. I guess I need to learn to be contented.

I wonder who still reads this dying blog. haha… Give me one night, I will be hokay tomorrow=) I won’t be easily defeated yeah…

Chapter 157

HELLO WORLD!!!

Hows everyone???!!!

I’m sorry for the total lack of updates cause I was cut off from the cyber world since like weeks ago…
Reason being, my laptop finally gave way and die-ed on me…
Till now, I have’t got it repaired… Soon soon…

I’m only like entitled to 5mins of email checking time per day, during my brother’s bath time, to use his laptop…
And finally today, I had more time to use it since I got home earlier than the usual 10pm, 11…

Okay… Here’s a brief update…
I’ve been rather busy lately, ever since school started…
Which was like about a month ago… Woahhhhhh!!!
One month gone!!! Tt’s damn fast…

In the past weeks, there had been some changes and happenings that went on in my ordinary but self-deemed extraordinary life… =P Aha…
As what my Msn nick states,
“Step out of the comfort zone, into the space where something new awaits =] “

Yes. I think I found it….
It is indeed a hassle to start all over from scratch, and doing things alone…
but I see it as a new challenge…
Cause I’ve been wanting to try out a new sport and this is one of my goal in my ‘09 resolution..

Ultimate Frisbee is it…
Gone for the first competitive training, it’s a drastic change…
From a clean levelled court to a grassy uneven field, from a ball to a disc, from something familiar to something totally different…
I’m quite excited to see where this transition can take me to…
Hmmm… Haha.. We shall see…

Driving lessons are going well and I think I’ll be learning parking really soon…
Coaching sessions at KCP are getting more interesting, especially after I’ve decided to be slightly stricter with the kids… Hahahah… It’s a damn hard skill to master… Maybe I should attend something similar to Organisational Behaviour which I learnt in school, like say ‘Childrenal’ Behaviour or ‘KIDSational’ Behaviour…

Then there was Shihui’s birthday surprise followed by a villager’s mahjong session after that…
Something ULTRA hilarious happened during mj and it’s like the most memorable birthday for Shihui over the mahjong table… haha…
Okay, we throwed some tiles away unknowingly into the rubbish chute… HAHAHHAHA!
But thankfully Guanyinma bo bi or something, we managed to retrieve it somehow with little effort…

Then there is also a reunion steamboat dinner with the AI Netballers, followed by a next-team session the very next day…
It was a great day out with my girls… We had fun cracking over our innocent past…

Hokay… I know its getting boring just rattling off the happenings.. ahaha…
But too much had took place it couldn’t be explained explicitly in a single entry…
Like today’s Jaychou marathon session with my friends is totalleeee CRAZily FUN!
Will post some photos next time…

Other stuff did happened too…
Good stuff, bad stuff, boring stuff, happening stuff…
Isn’t it more interesting this way??? hahha…
To be a fluctuating graph rather than a normal straight line…
To experience all sorts of the different emotions than just merely going through one…
It may just be a subjective self-pacifying thought… hahaha…
But sometimes we do need alittle of these to draw us towards being a more positive self… Agree?? =]

I shall be motivated for lessons tomorrow since bing is making Shepherds Pie!!!! WEE to the WEEEET!!! Haha!
Off for a little mugging and then KO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hmmmmm…. Intuition told me something was going to happen… Never did it crossed my mind it was that… haha… I saw him… Still the same… After so many years, we ended up in the same school again… Interesting… I felt something but that something was nothing… I think.. haha…