Chapter 187

Seven Days to Perth!

No comments about today.
May tomorrow be a better one.

Chapter 186

Eight Days to Perth!

Friday.
Today, I broke my training chain.
Last night, I couldn’t sleep well at all.
I remember 4 plus am, the pain got so bad, I had to get out of bed.
Get a cold towel and leave it on my back.

After which I could finally fall asleep.
Woke up, changed up, packed all my training stuff.
And head off for my driving lesson. Three hours of driving!!
Circuit, parking, test routes…
Was supposed to rush off for training after that.
But the pain lingers.
I then decided to give my body a break.

Well-taken break though.
Went to popo house to visit her.
Was planning to go next week before my trip, and since I’ve the time now, might as well.
She aged. And she kept mistaking I was going overseas for studies when I kept telling her its frisbee.
In the end I just went along with her mistake. Haha.

She held my hand in hers, raised a *thumbsup* sign, and kept repeating “First! First!” in canto.

My heart melted. =]

Rest day today. Training continues tomorrow.
Off to bed.

Chapter 185

Nine Days to Perth!

Thursday.
I woke up late for Physical Training today.
Cabbed down to Ngee Ann for training.
The sun was merciless, my sweat went dripping away like a tap.

We went for runs, countless sprints, skipping, disc flipping.
It wasn’t very tough. But the heat made it really taxing.
Glad to say. I finished all of it. =)

Five days of non-stop training.
Totally feeling the intensity and sometimes it gets so tiring, I was just blindly going through the training motion.
And till now, I’m still not mentally strong enough.

I feel I’m nowhere near my peak.
Yet, when I pushed myself harder, I felt the restrictions.
Hmmm yup. But no worries, I’m not giving up =)
I just feel that I’m capable of a higher standard of play than this.

After training, I dragged my aching body to wash up and get changed.
And we head off for school to attend the SIM sports night award presentation.
Was looking forward for the buffet in fact. Haha!
Okay anyways…. Received the certificate of Merit for frisbee.
And then it was buffet time!! Aha…

Training training training tomorrow!!!
Last few days before I can finally take a day rest!!!
For the placing. For the competition. For expectations. Go!

Chapter 184

Ten Days to Perth!

Wednesday.
I’m feeling so tired today.
Got to E-N-D-U-R-E!!
I forced myself to wake up early today to do up some YEN design thingy, in preparation for the meeting in the noon.

Attended YEN meeting in school.
Event is more or less confirmed, and we’re in the planning phase now.
After the meeting, me, Cheryl and Angkukueh left for training at WCP.

Hmmm… Today’s training…. not very good.
The sun was damn scorching, and I felt really really tired and unmotivated.
Not many people turn up today too. Meaning, more running!
Today, I did gave myself alot of excuses.
I gave in to the weather. I didn’t push myself hard.
I finished the whole training but I didn’t give my all.
And this ain’t the way it should go!!! Wake up! Kick the excuses goodbye!

Bruises everywhere. Slight sprain at the ankle. Muscle aching.
Pull through it pull through it.
It’s the last few days!!!
Train hard. Play hard.
It’s the last few chances to go through these sort of experiences.
Treasure it.

Reached home at about 11pm.
Finally done with YEN stuff for today. It’s 2.30am now and I’m really tired.
Tired yet happy.
Intensive training continues tomorrow.

Fight hard.

Chapter 183

Eleven Days to Perth!

Tuesday.
It was another long day today.
Did some shopping today at Queensway with Cheryl and Dawn to buy some neccessities for the trip.
Spent like $100 on sports b, shortSsss, top, SUNBLOCK!!, moisturizer, lipbalm, body spray, soap……..
But what to do. Need those stuff.

After shopping, Tiang gave me and Cheryl a lift back to school.
We started to practise our throws for like an hour plus.
And more people came down to disc with us.

6.15pm. We left school.
And I head for SIM netball training at ulu pandan.
Back to the familiar three third court, the long-time-no-see netball pole, and gaining control of the round object, once again.
Unknowingly, it had been about 3months since I last touched the ball.

Thankfully, I didn’t lost touch as much as I expected.
I had a lost-and-found kind of feeling as I was training today.
I felt I found back the dominant side of me, back to the place I belonged.

Things are different in that team now as compared to before. For the better.
A happy and motivated team evolving around the entire team and not only a few players, is definitely a team I wouldn’t mind playing for.
Though I have to say, it ain’t a really strong one.
But discipline and team cohesiveness can really be seen now, which was missing in the team previously, and that really turned me off the other time.
The feeling I got after this training was so different.
I’m motivated to turn up for the next one and more to come.
And as promised to Jiaolian, I’ll just commit to this IVP only.
The rest, we’ll talk later.

On a positive note, Jiaolian was telling me I’m fitter and faster than when I was in AJC. ahahaha… That came out from her ey!! Like rare to the rare to the rare rare max! That totally made me happy that instant lar.
And I was doubting it cause maybe she said that to make me play for the team. But heck.
2 years under her, how many times she praised me, like countable with 5 fingers. I shall take in that compliment. Muaahahahaha…

12.30am. I finally reached home after a long long day.
Intensive training continues tomorrow=)

“We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are”
-Max Dupree

Chapter 182

Twelve Days to Perth!

Monday.
Was feeling the nua-ness and ache this morning.
I forced myself to keep my eyes open and not fall back to sleep.
Miraculously, it works today. And only today. Aha.

Changed up and packed.
I left for Bishan to meet Wendy and Bing for a run at the stadium.
I guess I was way too ambitious when I was planning my self training program.
Or maybe, I didn’t push myself hard enough today.
Did not complete the whole thing, but was really really tired.
I need to go harder for the next run.

After the workout, Wendy left early.
Bing and I went in search of shower rooms around the complex in 80 days..
It’s totally out of sight, but we managed to sneak into the one in the clubhouse.
And on the way back to J8, I guess someone was really lacking sleep.
Abit drunk and blabbering away… Hahahaha…. Damn funny…

And yessa I finally ate seafood today. Orhlua mee sua… Weeeet!
Been weeks since I got the rashes, I have to abstrain from all these orh thingy…
Then, we parted at Amk, and I went to meet Cheryl for Part II of the day.

Head to school at about 5pm, had our meal.
And after which, went to practise our throws.
I ended up practising with Eugene, which was quite scary but turned out really well.
Getting abit technical here but I got to remind myself to pivot more on the outside to prevent blocks, bring the disc in for a backhand throw, snap my wrist more, better flow in release, flick the wrist for forehand, and not lock it.
Remember remember remember!!!

After disc-ing, it was time to go for our sports psychology talk.
Today was the last session, towards the ending part, we were “hypnotised”.
The psychologist got us to undergo some sort of visualisation session.
It was dark and cold and comfortable, topping up with his really soothing voice.
Erm…. I was so tired and the ambience was all set. I dozed off abit. Haha!
But I wasn’t the only one… Lol!
Still, I managed to bring myself back to what he was talking about, at the last part. Aha….

The day ended. My eyes are really closing.
A long day continues tomorrow.

No limits.

Chapter 181

Thirteen Days To Perth!

Intensive training day 1. Sunday.
Finally, I’m back doing what I was supposed to be doing.
It felt good to be able to sweat it out again.
The wind at West Coast Park was crazy today, sending my disc popping up and down.
We were told the wind over at Aust will be worst. Oh mian…
My throws, I can’t imagine.

Today. I decide to just focus on myself.
Ignoring how much I ought to catch up, or how my lousy stamina will pull the team down.
It helps. =) Training turns out pretty good.

We had a game with a club.
And coincidentally, Nigel’s playing for the club. Cool.
I wasn’t bothered at all about the score or how the entire team did, i was simply thinking about my own game and how to play it.
So wasn’t quite sure if we win or anything.

I’m playing more for the defence line and sometimes offence.
Manage to create turnovers and scored afew today.. Really happy=)
Oh and we got really dirty, the mud and all. Yucks.
Back hurts alittle. But still can take it.
After 5,6 hours of training and games, I was kind of relieved I pulled through all of it. Great!
And I started missing the highfives Shan and I will exchange after all the tough netball trainings.

Self training tomorrow.
There’s lots for me to work on.
I’m more motivated to train harder after today =)
Get pumped up, no regrets.

Will continue updating. Really treasure this chance given to me, and it will be an experience I wanna keep=)

Chapter 180

And so………….

The final team is announced.
And I made it to the team!!! =)
Which also goes to say, I’ll be heading to Western Australia, Perth in 2 weeks time…. to play frisbee!

I don’t quite know how to feel exactly.
Glad. Cause me and cheryl both made it.
Affirmed. Cause I’ve been chosen given all the happenings lately =)
Uncertain. Cause Cheryl may or may not be going due to her poor finger.
Worried. Cause I’m left with so little time to train up everything.
Scared. (wow that’s like the first time i feel this way) Cause I really fear aggravating my back.
Excited. Cause it’s my first trip to somewhere so far away without my papa and mama.
Motivated. Cause this was what I set my mind in, I did it, and I’m gonna make the most out of it.

And there are other things in which I couldn’t control.
All I know now is, I got to show I deserve the last placing. 
No time to rack my brain over emotions and all, just got to stay focus, discipline and make the most out of the available time I have left.
Perform. And enjoy this whole new experience=)

Tomorrow, I’m going to resume training.
It will be a rather depressing one I guess… haha… with the limited stamina and cold engine…
But to be able to say it out means I’m ready to face it.
Its time to step out again. And step up this time round=)

*Crosses finger* No more hiccups from now please. I really couldn’t take any of it.

Intensive Training Day One starts tomorrow.
Gotta-get-get. Gotta-get-get. Boom boom pow!

aha… JayChou Marathon was great today anyway=)

 

Chapter 179

Tough times don’t last. Indeed.
I’m feeling so much better now, both physically and mentally. =)

Even though it’s still quite hard to swallow.
That, I had to sit out and face a high probability of stagnation or even deprove from my still-very-raw skills level.
And, others training hard, pushing their limits, fighting for their place in the team maybe.
Yet, there’s nothing I can do right now to turn the situation around, cause I can’t train at all.

 And last night, I was still pondering about why I was being so hard on myself by commiting to things that will not help me at all in my future career, and when I could happily enjoy my holidays away, earning money or so, but I chose to feel all messed up with all these self-invited trouble instead.

I questioned my purpose.
I got really upset.
I asked why things can never be smoothsailing for me.
I cast doubts over all my decisions.
I spent a long time sending a short message hoping to answer to people of my absence in a tactical manner, but sadly, not all were nice enough to understand.
I tried my best to handle it in a responsible manner, but there’s nothing I could do when some took it as an excuse.
It isn’t just one group of people to face, and that is the troubling thing. That aside.
There’s also myself to talk through. To find back.

And yep. I’m accepting that things have happened.
I fell. I strained my back. The rashes are here to stay.
Time is tight. I am lagging behind. Others are improving. But!
For now, I got to be good. Be patient. Treat the rashes, till it goes away.
And then treat the strain. Build up the training momentum again.
And see how it goes from there.

The back of line, I may be positioned.
To give up entirely, I cannot bring myself to do it.
The final decision of whether I’ll make it to the team, isn’t up to me.
The only thing I know is, I still have the chance to prove myself on the field.
I can put a stop entirely by just sending out a simple sms saying I’m withdrawing from the selections.
I can, too, challenge myself against the limited timeframe (at the risk of aggravating too) to see the final outcome.

At the end of the day, it is the latter, that I know I wouldn’t have any regrets.

I’m good now=)
At least so much better than the last few days…
And I’m really really really thankful to all my friends around me…
To those who dropped me messages to ask if I’m okay, or even simple takecare messages, hearing me out =) (ahbei, wendy, bryan, yuanshan, lijie, yx, two brothers), telling me to hang in there and not to give up (anna, cheryl), nudged me online and told me to go with my heart and just be happy (yd), send me emails to cheer me up even though she couldn’t be really here for me (shan). I’m really really touched by all these. And I really appreciate it=) Thanks friends!!!

And especially to Bing. Thanks for being there. And for everything=)
The happy food – lollies, m&ms, messages, chillouts, nua-ing at your place
(Plus the fishball, taukee, hotdog, salmon with egg and cabbage Haha!)
I’m really thankful I have you around=)

Meantime, I visited the library today, got myself some books.
The best time to catch up on reading before school starts again.
Driving’s been good. Except that it’s draining my wallet…
Spent some time with the small one at home, took him out, talked to him, the whole family’s quite worried. He will make it through.
Not looking forward to dec 3. Set as the moaning day for results.

Till then, I shall be good and rest rest rest! =)

Chapter 178

Stop throwing challenges at me!!

My body cannot take it. I cannot take it.
First, it was a clash, followed by a fall, and a slight strain felt.
The very next second was a thump as someone fell straight on my back.
It was hard to get back up.

The selection period is now.
Three more weeks to the competition.
Places are limited, and I know I’m the few pending case, fighting for the last few placings in the team.
And as I decide to train hard and earn my place.
Something just had to happen to test my limitations.

I used to be able to cope it well.
I thought I could take all sorts of pain. But.
This time round, I really couldn’t take it.
All thanks to the body rash that had to come along now.
Rashes are irritants. And to top it up.
The kind that I had, just chose to be the uniquely-non-itch-but-ultra-painful-instead kind.
Worst of all, of all areas in the body, they just chose to position themselves at my already-strained back.

It’s painful to lean back. It’s straining to sit upright.
I don’t know how I’m gonna sleep tonight.
I can’t treat my back strain with muscle rub or visit to sinseh cause of the stupid rashes.
Seriously, what is this. Why is it happening. Why now.

Rest now. There goes my chance.

I feel like giving up.
I’ve given up many options and knocking opportunities to hopefully enable me to juggle well my commitments.
And now, I have to give up more?

Totally not in the mood.
I’m tired.
It’s painful. It’s irritating. It’s even more hurting to give up now.

Everything happens for a reason. I find no reason.

Chapter 177

It kind of feels good to step into brother’s room hearing him whine about schoolwork and realising that “heh! It doesn’t apply to me. At least not now.” Hahahaha….
Okay, I better stop this before all my Pulau NTU frens come bashing me up…
But before you guys feel unfair about it, I had my tough period also kay…
Just that its erm… OVER! haha! Jiayou! Jiayou!!!

We have a secret in the family now…
Between me and elder bro, the two masterminds…
And the younger one, who’s aware but didn’t take part in our secret mission, but still, that makes him an accomplice.
Risk over Potential gains…
Apparently, we lost quite abit…. Haha! And we’ve got to keep it shhhhh….

This week is going to be a busy week…
The kind where I had 3 events going on at the same time, but I can only go for one…
Need to prioritize even though my heart always goes out to the one which is of least importance of the three…

Anyways… I did manage to sort out my commitments, and finally, I can see where I’m heading now… It will be a busy two months ahead… I made my sacrifices, I gave up some opportunities unwillingly, but I guess life’s like that yeh… You cannot have the best of both worlds. You just got to make a choice.. At least now, I know I’ve found my drive and motivation again=)

Another very much needed vitamin M… Money Money where are you!!!
I need you to finance my driving.
I need you to raise the probability of the pending overseas trip.
I need you to feed me.
So pathetic… haha… that explains my desperateness for the secret mission which resulted in a BIG LOSS! hahahaha… Whack my head!

For myself: (And whoever interested…I doubt I can fix a time for meetups this week… I’ll try to fork out time next week kay!)

Today – Work @ AK. YEN meeting @ night – (cancelled). Dinner with friends.

Tuesday – Work @ sports carnival, morning. Driving afternoon. Friendly with NYP, Frisbee, at night.

Wednesday – Work @ sports carnival, morning. YEN wine/cheese gathering afternoon. Sports Psychology session, frisbee, school, night.

Thursday – Work @ sports carnival, morning. Physical training, evening.

Friday – Work @ sports carnival, morning. Llabten training night. Or Frisbee training, night.

Saturday – Frisbee training, 2pm to 7pm.

Sunday – Die of shagness! Or COMA!

To you! You left completely. It was a that’s it. Fullstop. And now you reappear suddenly. In a random way. And you went off like suddenly again. Seriously, what is it you want. I can draw my lines. Treasure your chance.

Chapter 176

Done with exams!!!! Weet!!!
At the same time signalling the commencement of another hectic two months of something else… Haha!

Oh…. and ultimately, my birthday wish didn’t come true… Haha…
I didn’t manage to get the scholarship, but it’s okay…
I’ll try harder, and apply for it again next semester…
Just felt quite bad on my parents side, I’m sorry…
Hopefully, my letter to them did help abit… =)

And sooooo…..
Exams over… Meaning…. It’s time to settle on decisions that have been placed aside previously… Hmmmmm……

1. To commit to train for IRAUG or not to. Decided. Yes. Train hard and get into the team.
2. To play for the school IVP Netball Team or not to. Got to give Jiaolian an answer by Sunday.
3. To give up the opportunity to play in one of the best Frisbee club or not to. Opportunity vs Interest vs Commitment.
4. To work with brother at Starhub or not to. Strongly yes I want to and I need to, for the money to the frisbee trip. BUT! I got no time to. Timings are already flexible enough, 3 hours every weekday nights. Trainings and YEN meetings just had to clashed, 4 days of the 5 weekdays. How how tell me how to.
5. Winterleague. To play or not to. I don’t think so.
6. And as I was pondering over those decisions. It just struck me. To give up on frisbee or not to.

Hmmmmmm……
I never believed in commiting abit here and there…
It’s either all out, or never start…  
But seems like, I’m alittle out of track…

Seriously, all these are nothing compared to exams… Haha…
I can tide over these two months of intensive trainings… Hopefully…

and my holidays???
Okay weeliting you got to stop complaining!! Your choice. Choose it. And no regrets.